The nerd inside me

According to Wikipedia, the definition of Nerd is the following:

A nerd is a person seen as overly intellectual, obsessive, introverted or lacking social skills.

Although I used to identify as a nerd, except for the overly intellectual part. I recognize those characteristics in myself when I was a kid.

In school, I didn't have any friends. Instead, you would find me wandering the edges of the playground, never in the midst of playing with other kids. Most of the time, I was by myself, wearing a perpetual smile on my face. What was happening in my head was always more captivating than what was happening around me. One teacher even called me "the kid with the everlasting smile."

I was the sole computer enthusiast in school and couldn't connect with anyone else. While other kids engaged in soccer or other "normal" activities, all I cared about was my computer. During summer holidays, I would spend the entire season in my room, tinkering with my computer and playing video games. My parents attempted to send me to various camps like music or soccer camp, but I always declined. Perhaps they should have pushed me a little harder.

As one might imagine, like many kids, I was a target for bullies. It wasn't just beacuase I was the peculiar nerd; it was also due to my pale skin, acne, freckles, reddish hair, and the fact that I wore glasses. By the time I entered secondary school, I had grown weary of it all. I cut my hair short and stowed away my glasses, never to see them again. I altered my appearance in order to fit in. Maybe it wasn't my wisest decision. Adapt or perish, right? Although that's a harsh sentiment. Kids can be cruel, but so can adults. Is it just human nature? Regardless, the bullying eventually ceased.

In secondary school, I met one of my closest friends, a kindred spirit of sorts. We shared a passion for computers and gaming. We became inseparable, spending time together during and after school. We spent so much time together that teachers suggested separating us would be beneficial. Naturally, no one paid heed to their advice. Although there was plenty of fighting at school, we managed to navigate diplomatically. We always skillfully avoided aggressive conflicts.

At some point, I lost that nerd somewhere along the way. I changed my appearance and behavior, attempting to alter the essence of who I was to the outside world. However, after some time, I rediscovered what truly mattered to me in life. I was able to embrace my inner nerd once again.

Various factors, such as situations and environments, can profoundly impact us. Sometimes, we have no choice but to go with the flow and adapt to our surroundings, enduring a few blows along the way. I am no longer that nerd. While I remain an introvert, I prefer to describe myself as a geek now, as it carries a more positive connotation, according to Wikipedia.

A few years ago, I encountered a former classmate at the company where I worked. We had spent many years together in preschool and primary school. When we recognized each other and engaged in conversation, he was surprised to see a different version of me. He had known me as the peculiar loner introverted kid, but now he saw a completely transformed person.

Since graduating from school, I have pursued a career as an IT consultant, specializing in software development. Throughout my professional journey, I have had numerous opportunities to deliver presentations, conduct trainings for companies, and even lead small teams. I have faced challenging situations head-on, enduring the pressures and emerging stronger each time. Intelligence isn't the sole determinant of success; I am aware of my own limitations in that regard. However, the ability to adapt to various circumstances is of utmost importance. And above all, it is crucial to remain authentic to oneself, as that serves as a personal sanctuary.

This random thought originates from my chaotic mind, and you can expect to find more such reflections on my website.